Warnings: Slight swearing
Summary: Kyuhyun always set up the fire alarm whenever he was cooking and Bugsy always sneaked into Kyuhyun’s apartment to steal something from the fridge. Part of My Neighbor(s) is an Idiot series.
1. A (Very Huge) Hole and a Dog
A/N: Currently have the modd to continue this series, so enjoy~~ Comments are need <3
“So about the kiss...”
“Stop it, Choi Siwon. Stop asking me about that!” a red faced Kyuhyun stalked towards the couch and sulked on it, more like trying to will the couch to swallow him in embarrassment.
“Is that a green light for me?”
“It is a green light for you to stop or I will close that hole in the wall by myself,” Kyuhyun glared at the chuckling man in his kitchen. Thank goodness he had finished his lunch.
Since the night Bugsy went missing, where Kyuhyun had kissed Siwon’s cheeks – a memory Kyuhyun would like to forget, Siwon had started plastering Kyuhyun about it and even though it had already been a week, the business man couldn’t seem to shut up about it.
“Alright, alright, just telling you I will be home late today, so I can’t prepare dinner for you. Is it okay?” Siwon asked Kyuhyun, his expression turning worried.
“I am capable of having my own dinner, Siwon. I’m not a child, for god’s sake!” Kyuhyun frowned at the smiling man.
“I still feel guilty, though, for leaving you alone at night,” Siwon’s face turned into a guilty one.
“We are not married, Siwon. And even housewives would get annoyed by your constant harassment,” glowered Kyuhyun, although his stomach felt funny.
“Fine then, I will be leaving now. Have a nice day off, Kyu. Don’t stay up too late,” Siwon grabbed his coat before leaving Kyuhyun’s apartment room.
“Your owner is an idiot, Bugsy,” Kyuhyun shook his head, although a hint of smile curved on the human’s face.
So what am I going to do now?
The rest of the afternoon included lounging around in the living room and playing his PS4, while all the same while playing his mobile games. Bugsy seemed to love the company as he kept barking every time Kyuhyun won a war in the TV. Three hours of playing later, Kyuhyun’s phone rang.
“Changmin? What is it? I was just going to defeat the big boss,” Kyuhyun asked, annoyed.
“Glad to have you here, best friend. I was just asking if you and Siwon would have time tonight?”
“Siwon has a late meeting tonight and I don’t feel like it,” Kyuhyun answered as he messed around Bugsy’s ears.
“Aww, the good housewife is waiting for his hubby to come home,” Changmin’s cackle could be heard from the phone speaker. “So have the both of you kissed?”
Kyuhyun stuttered many kinds of “no”s as he felt his face heating up, replaying the scene a week ago.
“Oh, so you have,” Kyuhyun could even hear his friend’s sly smirk from behind the other’s phone. “Just so you know, if you need something Yunho and I have them all. Yes, I mean all. So have fun tonight,” Changmin hurriedly spoke as he hung up the phone, not giving any time for Kyuhyun to retort or curse at him.
“Damn Changmin!” Kyuhyun cursed as he kicked at thin air, before Bugsy jumped onto his chest to cheer him up.
“Nothing can cheer me up now, you stupid dog,” Kyuhyun muttered and there was another ring from his phone.
Kyuhyun frowned at the contact name and picked up, “Choi Siwon? Did you changed your contact name in my phone to “Neighbor Prince”?”
“Oh, of course you would find out,” Siwon’s laugh echoed through Kyuhyun’s head and his pants would be in fire if he said that it didn’t cheer him up.
“Do not touch my phone, you hear that?” Kyuhyun instead remarked and pushed Bugsy away from his chest.
“Can’t promise you, Kyu,” Siwon chuckled. “So what are you doing right now?”
“I’m playing and you interrupted it.”
“Oops, sorry,” although the tone was the opposite. “I will be home around eleven, so don’t wait for me, alright?”
“Who would want to wait for you,” grumbled Kyuhyun, earning another laugh from the older.
“Then, my meeting will start soon. Eat a healthy dinner alright, Kyu. I miss you,” Siwon said before hanging up, leaving Kyuhyun in a state of trying hard to keep his straight face in check.
“Your owner is a real stupid idiot,” he turned to Bugsy with a fake glare instead.
Bugsy replied with a bark and proceeded to run around Kyuhyun’s feet.
“Are you hungry?” Kyuhyun frowned as he glanced at his phone to see it was already dinner time.
He was thinking about takeouts but then his mind drifted to a certain man in his office. He had done so much for Kyuhyun and now was probably the time to pay him back.
Sighing, the teenager opened his fridge to look for any ingredients, not that he could recall buying anything other than chips. But now, his fridge was full that he had blinked in confusion. When had Siwon stocked up his fridge, not to mention it was Kyuhyun’s own fridge.
“Your owner is too nice of an idiot, you know that?” Kyuhyun told Bugsy again, gaining another bark from the pup, as if he was agreeing.
“Good dog, now you eat and leave me alone,” Kyuhyun poured a pile of dog food on Bugsy’s bowl, that would surely horrify Siwon but Bugsy seemed happy so the human just shrugged.
Now what should I make? Kyuhyun though to himself as he inspected his fridge.
In the end, the student decided to make japchae for the two of them.
“Bring a large pot of water to boil and cook the noodles until al dente... what the hell is al dente?” Kyuhyun squinted at his smartphone screen as he read the recipe. But he still boiled water and immediately poured the noodles into the pot and covered it.
“Heat the sesame oil in a large pan over medium heat,” Kyuhyun repeated the recipe as he did what was told. “Add the onions, scallions, garlic, mushrooms, carrots, and zucchini, and stir fry until softened, about 5 minutes.”
As Kyuhyun was busy stirring the ingredients of the pan, the boiling pot beside him suddenly shook and there was smoke all around him. Cursing all profanities, the male turned off the stove and tried to fan out all the smoke. But then, the fire alarm rang and water was pouring on him.
“Shit, shit, shit.”
“So you are cooking, no, let me rephrase. So you are boiling noodles, when suddenly there was smoke?” one of the firefighters interviewed him, looking so hard trying not to laugh.
“Quit it, Hyuk,” another fireman hit his colleague’s back before offering a sorry smile at Kyuhyun.
“But, Hae, their apartments have holes!” the first fireman finally burst laughing, causing Kyuhyun to hid his face in his hands.
Kyuhyun felt like a failure. How could someone even fail to boil noodles with water? Ten minutes after the smoke had died down, the fire engine still arrived anyway, causing a chaos in the apartment, where Yesung had already ran out of the apartment with his turtles and Zhou Mi, the Chinese man living in the apartment had rushed to his room, his face filled with worry.
Kyuhyun was just going to apologize and send everyone off when a very panicked Siwon rushed into the apartment, eyes frantically searching for something, or someone, when his eyes landed on Kyuhyun and he sighed in great relieve.
“Kyu? Are you alright?” the older squatted in front of the sitting Kyuhyun and touched his cheeks.
“I’m fine, there was no fire. I just kind of messed up,” Kyuhyun mumbled slapping Siwon’s hand away.
“Okay, seemed like there was no real problem here, so we will be going back to our base,” one of the firefighters told them and both residences hurriedly bowed before the apartment was back to its quiet state.
“Um, so.. what happened Kyu?” Siwon asked his roommate again worriedly.
“I was just trying to cook when it just happened,” Kyuhyun answered softly, not meeting the other’s eyes.
Siwon blinked for a whole minute before smiling so widely.
“You are trying to cook for us?”
Kyuhyun just nodded and shifted his feet.
“I am very capable of cooking alright. It is just a small stupid mistake,” Kyuhyun finally met Siwon’s eyes.
“I’m not accusing you, Kyu. I’m just very happy that you are thinking of cooking for me,” Siwon smiled his dimpled smile.
“Now we didn’t have any dinner.”
“Good thing I bought Chinese takeout that I plan to heat tomorrow as breakfast. But eating it now seems like a good idea. Although i actually prefer your food,” Siwon showed the bag of takeouts on his hand before setting them down on the kitchen table.
Kyuhyun joined him and the both of them started to eat when Kyuhyun’s phone rang.
“Kyuhyun! Amber told me what happened which she knew it from Zhou Mi that you set up the fire alarm? Dude, you don’t even know how to correctly make instant ramyeon!”
Kyuhyun immediately hung up and continued eating as if nothing happened, waving off Siwon’s inquiring look.
“But what were you making earlier before the smoke, Kyu?” Siwon asked.
“Japchae,” Kyuhyun replied as he stuffed his mouth with food as Siwon cracked a laugh.
“Sorry, sorry, I won’t laugh anymore.”
“When are you moving out anyway?” Kyuhyun switched the subject.
“My house still needs a lot of fixing and I am deciding to expand it. Probably in a few months,” Siwon replied as he finished eating.
Kyuhyun stayed silent at the thought of the quiet apartment.
“Hey, Kyu, I am not leaving you. If my house is done would you want to move in with me?” Siwon stroked Kyuhyun’s hand.
“I’m not your lover and I don’t care if you leave,” Kyuhyun took away his hand, although his pout said otherwise.
Siwon merely chuckled before bringing their empty plates to the sink and washed them. Siwon never let Kyuhyun did all the house chores, while Kyuhyun felt relaxed, he still felt really guilty.
“Go to sleep, Kyu, I insist,” Siwon looked at Kyuhyun before the latter nodded and mumbled a “good night”.
•°•°•It was once midnight again when Kyuhyun woke up to something scraping his door. Picking up the baseball bed beside his bed, which was surprisingly still intact after last time’s incident, Kyuhyun made a way to his door before swinging it open so hard, only to find a dog on his feet.
“Bugsy?” Kyuhyun frowned as he looked at the wagging tail of the dog. “Wait, what’s that? Is that my cake?” Kyuhyun squinted at the white cream stuck on the dog’s nose before his eyes darted to the half opened fridge.
“Did you just...?” Kyuhyun shook his head at the happy dog before stalking to his kitchen to shut his fridge.
As he walked passed his living room, the room beside his was dark.
Siwon must be asleep, he thought as he made his way into the bedroom and shooed the dog. “Go back to your own bed; your owner will be worried.”
He would have to do talk about the dog and his fridge to Siwon tomorrow.
Only to see Changmin and Yunho in his room and not Siwon.
“Yunho heard what happened yesterday and offered to teach you how to cook. I pity Siwon,” Changmin told him as the taller sat on the bed.
“I can follow recipes just fine, so you two can go home,” Kyuhyun grumbled and turned away from the guests, blanket covering his head.
“Yah! Wake up you sleepy head! It is noon and you need to be awake now!” Changmin immediately grabbed his blanket and that skinny hands sure had some muscles.
Kyuhyun glared at his best friend before kicking them out and proceeded to take a bath.
“So you need to put the noodles in the boiling water, then while you wait you need to do this, this, and this,” Yunho proceeded to explain the basics of making japchae for the next hour while Kyuhyun, even though he was a straight A student, had a hard time following the directions.
“Then you try it,” Yunho suggested Kyuhyun as he finished giving directions. Changmin on the other hand was watching the TV animatedly.
Not until ten minutes later, the alarm started to ring again and water poured down on the carpeted floors, some hitting Changmin’s head, which Kyuhyun laughed at in spite of the current situation.
“Yunho! I thought you can teach him well! Why is he still burning the kitchen?” Changmin complaint as he splashed his wet hair.
“Kyuhyun, the noodles, when you put them, they caught the fire,” Yunho tried to be patient although his expression seemed like he wanted to laugh.
“I really pity Siwon...” Changmin murmured as he watched his boyfriend laughing out loud.
Another ten minutes later, his apartment started to be filled with firemen.
“You again? Maybe you should think about takeouts?” the previous laughing fireman approached him with a laugh.
“I’m terribly sorry, we promise not do that again,” Yunho apologized instead of Kyuhyun before the apartment went silent again.
“So I guess... I’m not cut out to be in the kitchen?” Kyuhyun unsurely asked.
“Hell yeah, and you just realized it now?” Changmin asked.
“Well, you just need practice, Kyu,” Yunho told the dejected boy.
“And ring more fire alarms?” Kyuhyun sighed as he dumped all the dirty bowls and pans in the sink.
“Kyuhyun? Kyu?” A panicked Siwon interrupted whatever Changmin was saying as the neighbor rushed to Kyuhyun’s side and hold Kyuhyun’s chin to check for any injuries on his face.
“I’m fine, Won,” Kyuhyun pushed away Siwon’s hand as the younger looked at the other direction with pink dusting his cheeks.
“Wow, you guys sure you aren’t dating?” asked Changmin, earning a glare from Kyuhyun and a chuckle from Siwon.
“I’m still trying here,” the neighbor said with a smile directed to a blushing Kyuhyun.
“We have seen and done enough here, maybe it is time for us to go now,” Yunho hurriedly ushered his boyfriend out, scared the taller would say something unnecessary again.
“So you tried to cook again...?” Siwon asked Kyuhyun uncertainly.
“Yes, yes, I tried to cook and set off the fire alarm again,” Kyuhyun glared at Siwon as if daring him to laugh or to comment.
Siwon just smiled fondly at Kyuhyun.
“If you have something to say then spit it out,” Kyuhyun growled out, unable to stand the awkward situation.
“Every time you cook, you set off the smoke alarm, so I’m just going to teach you how to cook,” Siwon offered.
“No, thanks, it was what Yunho was doing earlier and look what happened,” Kyuhyun held a hand out to stop the other.
“Then I will cook for you until the end,” Siwon easily concluded, ignoring Kyuhyun’s glower.
Fire alarm trouble solved. (Or not).
“Choi Siwon, you need to do something about your dog it keeps breaking into my apartment. Plus, it knows how to open fridges,” Kyuhyun finally remembered to complain to his neighbor slash roommate a week later after the last fire alarm.
“Bugsy?” Siwon raised one of his electrifying eyebrows.
“Do you have any other dog?” Kyuhyun frowned.
“But he was always with me when I checked on him during midnight,” Siwon scratched his head.
“Because I sent him off my room,” Kyuhyun gritted his teeth. “He kept scratching my bedroom door during midnight and forced me to wake up. And the fridge is always open whenever he woke me up,” Kyuhyun tsked as he looked at Bugsy in disapproval.
“I will make sure to guard him tonight, Kyu. Sorry to bother you during midnight,” Siwon half-glared at his dog who whined.
Kyuhyun just sighed before he walked into the bedroom.
“I’m going to sleep now, good night,” Kyuhyun walked into his bedroom and ended the day.
Kyuhyun growled before he stood up and swung the door open only to be greeted by a pair of puppy eyes.
“What am I going to do with you?” Kyuhyun sighed, before picking up the dog and put it on his bed beside him.
“Just don’t sit on me or soil my bed,” Kyuhyun warned the dog one last time before drifting back to dream world.
The next morning Kyuhyun woke up, Siwon was sitting beside his bed, one elbow on the bedside table with his head on his hand and was staring at Kyuhyun with an expression that cause Kyuhyun to blush and his stomach to feel funny.
“What?” he croaked out, before Siwon handed him a glass of water.
“No, both of you look so adorable together,” Siwon smiled even wider.
Kyuhyun frowned but he turned to look Bugsy who had already woken up but was still laying beside him.
“Get out both of you, I need to prepare for my morning lecture,” Kyuhyun grumbled as he put Bugsy on the floor.
Half an hour later, Kyuhyun was all set as he grabbed his backpack and followed Siwon to the businessman’s car.
“So what time will you be done?” Siwon asked as the car stopped in front of the university gate.
“Probably before noon, I only have one class today,” Kyuhyun shrugged before he saw Siwon’s serious face. “Don’t need to pick me up, I can go with Changmin today.”
Kyuhyun nodded a “bye” before leaving and jogged towards Changmin who was already waiting by the gates.
“Good morning today?” Changmin raised an eyebrow at his best friend’s smile.
“Come on,” Kyuhyun immediately straightened his face before dragging his friend into the building.
“Kyu, aren’t you thinking of dating him?” Changmin asked Kyuhyun as the lecture started.
Kyuhyun glared at the other in mock disgust.
“I mean he did a lot for you already, well, including seeing you naked,” Changmin continued, earning a pinch on his skinny thighs.
“Hey!” Changmin almost shouted before turning it into a hush as he remembered they were still in a class. “I mean, shouldn’t you show him some gratitude?”
Kyuhyun stayed silent as he rethought what his best friend just said.
“Kyu?” Changmin asked as the class ended but his best friend was still frozen.
“I need to go home now, I have an idea. Say hi to Yunho,” Kyuhyun immediately rushed out the class and out of the campus grounds, barely have the time to greet Yunho who was already waiting Changmin outside the gates with his car.
Kyuhyun’s run turned into a stop as he arrived in front of the magazine stall near his apartment. Grabbing the latest issue of cooking magazine, Kyuhyun ran back into his apartment, thankful that Siwon would come home at night, so he would have a lot of time to practice not burning the apartment down.
“Must not set the fire alarm off, must not...” Kyuhyun kept chanting the mantra as he prepared all the ingredients written in the magazine.
“You keep quiet, alright?” Kyuhyun fed Bugsy with a chunk of meat.
Five liter of water and a burnt pot later, Kyuhyun finally made a huge plate of rabokki, a mix of tteokbokki and ramyeon, and to be honest, he was really proud of himself. Looking at the time, he realized that he had been using the kitchen for five hours.
Rubbing his hands with bandaged fingers on his sauce-covered jeans, Kyuhyun covered the plate of his homemade food and took the magazine before hurrying into the bathroom to clean himself and stuff the book into the deepest depth of his wardrobe. Siwon would be home anytime soon.
God, I feel like a newlywed housewife, Kyuhyun though in disgust as he shed off all his dirtied clothes and took a clean shower.
As he was wearing his shirt – a more decent hoodie than his usual plain t-shirts, he heard Bugsy barking, signaling Siwon was home.
Hurriedly, the boy exited hit bedroom to see Siwon in the kitchen, looking around with a confused face.
“You are home,” Kyuhyun greeted the other and approached him.
“I’m home Kyu,” Siwon smiled his dimpled smile and Kyuhyun before his face turned slightly worried. “What happened Kyuhyun? Why is the kitchen a mess?”
Kyuhyun had the decency to look embarrassed as he look down his carpeted floor, and hid his hands in his hoodie pocket.
“I made dinner for us...?” Kyuhyun glanced at Siwon as he answered hesitantly.
“But I thought...” Siwon’s eyebrows knitted together.
“I didn’t burn the kitchen, nor set the fire alarm,” kyuhyun folded his hands, looking proud as he look into Siwon’s eyes.
“I’m proud of you, Kyu,” Siwon grinned as he motioned to hug Kyuhyun, only ending up squeezing the shorter’s shoulders.
“But I won’t cook for you any day now,” Kyuhyun mumbled as he sat down.
“No, your food is only served for the best moment,” Siwon smiled fondly at a blushing Kyuhyun as he sat down opposite to the latter.
“So, Kyu,” Siwon cleared his throat. “I know I have just asked you this a few weeks ago, but, will you date me now?” Siwon put up his best pleading look. “Please?” he added as he saw Kyuhyun shell-shocked face.
“Are you an idiot?” Kyuhyun covered half of his face and looked away, his face tomato red. “But that doesn’t mean I will sleep with you, stupid.”
“Is that a yes?”